How Breaking Free from Traditional Measures Brings True Fulfillment
Throughout our lives, we’re given a social gender blueprint—a map of roles, values, and beliefs that we’re expected to follow based on our gender. For men, this map often emphasises stoicism, assertiveness, and the idea that success is defined by power and financial stability. For women and those from marginalised communities, the blueprint differs but is no less rigid, often reinforcing the need to prove oneself or to stay within “acceptable” boundaries. But what happens when we step outside these mapped paths, crossing into roles and spaces that haven’t been neatly outlined for us?
For many, this divergence brings feelings of imposter syndrome—a term that describes the sense of not belonging or being “not enough” but is, in itself, something of a construct. Historically, society has invented labels like “bicycle face,” a term used in the late 19th century to warn women against the “dangers” of cycling, discouraging them from a newfound freedom. Much like “bicycle face,” imposter syndrome can be seen as a modern construct, a product of social expectations that discourage people from stepping into spaces where they don’t “fit.”
Imposter syndrome doesn’t discriminate, but its roots and expressions are deeply shaped by gendered socialisation. For men, it often surfaces most acutely when they step away from traditionally male roles, venturing into caregiving or creative fields that defy typical “male” expectations. For women, Trans+, non-binary, and gender non-conforming people, imposter syndrome may even arise in traditional roles, as societal expectations clash with personal authenticity.
On my own journey, I’ve redefined success, moving away from the standard markers of power and money toward a “heart and soul” measure of fulfilment. It’s a shift that echoes what many experience when they begin to question long-standing expectations and seek authenticity. Here, I’ll explore how these ingrained social blueprints shape our sense of self-worth and why breaking these boundaries is essential for embracing our true selves.
The Power of the Social Gender Blueprint in Shaping Self-Worth
Our social gender blueprint doesn’t just hand us a map; it shapes our understanding of self-worth, often limiting what we believe we can or should do. Historical constructs like “bicycle face” show that these societal limits are not new. At the dawn of the cycling era, doctors claimed women risked “bicycle face” if they dared to ride. They warned that cycling would cause permanent disfigurement and other health “issues” for women—none of which were ever based on actual medical evidence. It was simply a way to discourage women from stepping into new roles and freedoms that were, up until that point, reserved for men.
In many ways, imposter syndrome is a modern “bicycle face.” The feelings are real, yes, but their origin is societal. Much of the self-doubt we experience when stepping outside gendered norms isn’t rooted in reality but in a socially constructed fear of not “belonging.” This blueprint—dictating which roles and spaces we’re “allowed” to occupy—can undermine our authentic selves, forcing us into a tension between who we are and who we feel we’re supposed to be.
Imposter Syndrome as a Symptom of Stepping Beyond Socialised Roles
Imposter syndrome is universal but isn’t one-size-fits-all. Each of us experiences it in ways shaped by the specific gendered expectations we grew up with. For men, this syndrome often surfaces when they step away from the “provider” archetype. Men entering caregiving or creative roles, for instance, frequently report feeling as if they don’t belong. This self-doubt stems from stepping into spaces that defy the traditional male image of authority, assertiveness, and control.
Women and marginalised communities, on the other hand, can experience imposter syndrome even when occupying traditionally “appropriate” roles. This is due to a deeper, pervasive expectation for them to constantly prove themselves, as if their worth is always in question. For them, imposter syndrome isn’t only about stepping into new spaces; it can be a constant companion, a byproduct of an environment that scrutinises their every move.
Authenticity and the Psychological Friction of Moving Beyond Social Limits
When we step outside the confines of this social gender blueprint to find our authentic selves, we encounter psychological tension. Breaking from these boundaries can trigger self-doubt and insecurity, not because we lack ability but because society’s expectations clash with our desire for authenticity. This friction between internal truth and external expectation creates a cycle where we question our worth and belonging—exactly what imposter syndrome feeds on.
Living authentically, despite societal expectations, requires self-validation. Yet, self-validation doesn’t come naturally to most, given how deeply these blueprints are ingrained. I’ve found that redefining success according to my “heart and soul” has been a liberating measure of self-worth. It allows me to honour my own standards and values over external ones. The more aligned we are with our own values, the easier it becomes to detach from the external standards that feed imposter syndrome.
Indicators of Reaching an Internal Sense of Self-Worth
How do we know when we’re starting to break free from this social blueprint? Reaching internal self-worth doesn’t come with fanfare, but there are signs along the way. We might notice a reduced need for external validation, relying instead on our own assessment of worth. Setting boundaries becomes easier, as we feel less guilt for honouring our needs and limits.
An alignment between values and actions is also a key indicator—our choices feel like they truly belong to us, rather than something we’re performing for others’ approval. And in time, self-validation becomes a habit, giving us peace and clarity in our decisions. This doesn’t mean imposter syndrome magically disappears, but that its grip loosens as we build a stronger internal foundation.
A Universal Invitation to Embrace Authenticity
The journey to self-worth isn’t just about stepping outside the social gender blueprint; it’s about realising that these boundaries were never truly ours to begin with. When we examine the origins of imposter syndrome, we see it for what it is—a product of social constructs and societal limits that no longer serve us. By reframing these boundaries, we invite everyone, regardless of gender, to reflect on their own map: Which parts feel authentic? Which parts are inherited expectations?
In the end, embracing authenticity is less a destination and more a journey, one where self-worth and belonging grow as we move beyond imposed limits. This journey is a daily practice of internal validation, a conscious effort to live according to what truly fulfils us rather than what others expect. For me, this shift to a “heart and soul” measure of success reflects my values more deeply than any other markers of power or money could. It’s a journey I hope we can each take—to live authentically, free from the constraints of any outdated social gender blueprint, and to feel that we belong precisely because we choose to.
As you consider what redefining success and self-worth means for you, remember that every journey is unique. Whether you’re stepping beyond societal boundaries or exploring your path to authenticity, support is essential. If you’re ready to dive deeper into creating spaces where genuine self-worth can thrive—for yourself or within your organisation—I’m here to help. Reach out for a conversation on how we can foster lasting, meaningful change together.